What if you didn't need an opinion?
- Shirley Turner
- Mar 9
- 3 min read
Our minds are remarkably quick to form opinions; about others, about situations, and often about ourselves.
Recently we reflected on how easily we take things personally. Perhaps there is another side to quietly observe as well.
How often do we find ourselves judging? Not only other people, but circumstances, behaviour, and very often our own thoughts and actions.
It happens so quickly that we may hardly notice it:
A passing thought.
A comparison.
A quiet evaluation.
A subtle feeling of being right, justified, or perhaps slightly superior.
It can feel harmless, even protective. And yet, if we pause for a moment, we might begin to see something deeper. Sometimes judgement can be a way the mind tries to reassure itself. When we notice differences or perceived flaws in others, we may briefly feel more secure in our own position.
If they are wrong, we feel more right.
If they struggle, we feel more certain.
If they fail, we feel a little safer.
Not because we are unkind or critical people, but because we are human.
Often judgement happens so subtly that we are not aware of it at all. That is where mindful awareness becomes so valuable.
The moment we notice ourselves judging, something interesting becomes possible. Instead of turning that judgement back onto ourselves, we can simply become curious.
What am I feeling right now?
What thoughts are passing through my mind?
How am I responding in this moment?
When awareness arises without self-condemnation, it creates space for something important... understanding.
Sometimes a situation with another person can reveal something within ourselves.
An insecurity.
A discomfort.
A part of us that has not yet been fully seen.
Instead of focusing on the other person, we begin to understand ourselves more deeply.
Practice the art of not having an opinion. It will feel strange, yet there is such profound freedom in allowing people to be as they are without mentally categorising them.
Not having an opinion doesn’t mean you lack interest, concern or personal boundaries. It means releasing the need to define others in order to feel secure.
When we turn our attention back toward our own path, something shifts:
Our energy returns to us.
Our awareness deepens.
Our presence strengthens.
When we become overly focused on what others are doing, we can easily lose sight of our own journey.
And it is our own path that truly asks for our attention. What others are doing is rarely our business, unless harm is being done that calls for compassionate intervention.
Otherwise, comparison and judgement can pull us away from the present moment. The present moment is where our real power lives.
Perhaps freedom begins when we loosen our grip on judgement.
When we allow ourselves to walk our path with clarity and awareness.
And allow others the dignity of walking theirs.
“Perhaps peace begins when we stop trying to define others and start understanding ourselves.”
A Gentle Reflection
Take a quiet moment today to notice your thoughts. Is there someone or something you find yourself judging?
Instead of pushing the thought away, simply become curious.
What might this reaction be revealing about me?
Is there a feeling or insecurity beneath this judgement?
What would it feel like to let this opinion soften or dissolve?
There is no need to change anything immediately.
Sometimes the simple act of noticing, with kindness and without self-criticism, is enough to open the door to deeper understanding.
And from understanding, something new can begin to grow.
With presence,
Shirley
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